6 Ways to Improve Quality of Life during Isolationadmin
We continue the conversation with experts of the social talk show “Concerns to Everyone” about how to spend quarantine time as sparingly and effectively as possible due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Time, space, self-determination are three components that are necessary for a normal mental state. As long as we are able to navigate in time, fix different spaces and understand what our task is now – we are effective and mentally stable. Talk about time and space.
The correct distribution of time will give us the opportunity not only to be in time, but also most importantly – to manage to switch between tasks. But plans for the day must necessarily have time for food, rest, leisure, others and yourself. Since we are closed in one space, such a schedule will help us not to get lost in a series of monotonous days and not to burn out in this monotony, to keep ourselves normal.
It is always functional. Remember how it was before quarantine: the kitchen is for eating, the bedroom is for sleeping, the living room is for watching your favorite movies, and the bathroom is for water treatments. And this or that space of our apartment determined our activity. But now, in quarantine, much more space has “built into” our housing. Now there is an office, a restaurant, a kindergarten or a school, a university, a place for meetings with friends and relatives, and all that your imagination will allow you.
Enter and exit spaces neatly, consciously and environmentally. If there are more functions than space in an apartment or house, zon it in your head or divide this space physically. This will also help significantly in self-monitoring of time and activity. It will be easier for you to tune in to work in the work zone, for example.
After a while, one hit in this zone will include you in the right mood. This is all about discipline. Think, give it a try. Awareness at every step is great when you understand not only what you are doing, but how and why in this way.
Stop vacuuming old knowledge
Open lectures, courses, online museums, city maps and even space. All this was before quarantine. And this means that this knowledge is not about the future, but about the past. They do not have answers to the main question of today: what to do next? They contain only answers about “yesterday.” Yes, yes, even in lectures.
The battle in life in quarantine and after it will be won only by those who are able to understand that the world will not be the same as before. Knowledge and skills will not be needed such as before. Do you think in vain in Davos recommended changes to “soft skills 2020”?
New ways, new strategies always lie not in knowledge, but in ways of thinking or in actions. All these open courses will not help us, if right now everyone does not begin to think differently and otherwise build strategies in their activities. And come on here without emotion. If they arise, if you are uncomfortable reading this text and everything in yours resists it, these are emotions. And this means that it’s not you who controls the emotions, but they are you. You need to increase emotional intelligence, otherwise emotions will swallow you.
What to do:
Stop and be aware of your own emotions. What am I feeling right now?
Understand something about the situation. Analyze. Why am I experiencing this emotion? What caused her in me?
Use imagination to project new actions. How can I perceive this situation differently? And how can I do otherwise without being guided by emotions?
If you do not know how to work with emotions, thinking or actions – rather, find someone who will prompt and help. Or learn to watch videos of lectures and courses not for gaining knowledge, but in order to understand how and why they say something and do something in the lecture. And – yes, you’ll probably be disappointed in most of the content.
Family secrets: what can not be hidden from the child
Very often, at the moment when you have a task in which there is not enough information (not knowledge!) – the most important thing is to understand where to find this information and what to do with it. Information, but not someone else’s experience, because – with what we started this block: the way it was, will no longer be.
And stop making claims and try to change your loved ones. Here they are, next to us. The very people we identified as the most important in our lives. Here they are – those with whom we are ready to get into temporary isolation, even for a long time. And next to it are our two most inconspicuous problems: we grew up in different families, therefore we have different life and family scenarios. And they, alas, are in conflict. We so much wanted to be more often with each other, and here it turns out to be near, but not together. And we begin by all means to demand this “together”. Now in order.
Our parents. They will always strive to improve us. We will always strive to please them. Even when we rebel. Most of their advice and interventions in our fragile personal space, we consider invasion and begin to defend themselves. Hence, conflicts, grievances, misunderstandings. In these conflicts, first of all, stop yourself. Do not strive to improve either your parents or yourself. Learn to build qualitatively different relationships with them. Each one has their own. But change yourself, not your parents with their sometimes crazy desire to improve you in their own way.
Our loved ones, the very ones with whom we want to live our whole lives in love and happiness, are partners. We suddenly became too close to each other. Each of our desire to get our comfort zone, as a rule, turns into a desire to change another. If you think that you can change another person, you are not free – you are dependent on him. You will not live your life and take pleasure in communication, but persistently “muddle” this person with terrible strength in the hope that he will adapt to your standards and requirements. But you will have nothing but accumulated aggression (and this is a medical fact), and no changes will appear.
All you can do to get rid of this dependence is to stop expecting changes and even more so demand them, and also to start building independent relations with your loved one and changing your attitude to these relations. In quarantine, you have no choice – either quarrel, beat your forehead about your idea of happiness, or, finally, grow up.
Know yourself better
The smell of fresh air from the window, or for so long not a tangible smell of fresh pastries (even borscht) in the house, the smell of a loved one or children. Yes, it’s cool. But the quarantine month probably tired of the order. Get yourself a few different cans of shower gel in the bathroom, and you will always have the opportunity to choose a smell for your mood. Or a few cans of cream. After all, while you stay in the bathroom, you are alone with yourself, even if a spouse, three children, two cats and a dog are waiting for you at the door. You have the opportunity to pay attention to yourself, your comfort, your mood. And this is very important. If you don’t take the time to yourself and pamper yourself with little things, you will be exhausted very quickly.
Our personal boundaries, which are more difficult to maintain in quarantine than usual, are read from us and from our body, and only then do the distances and comfort zones known to us follow. About which, by the way, quarantine so suddenly reminded us. And there is hope that the duration of quarantine will allow us all to learn to respect other people’s and our borders – both on the streets and at home.
The social distance of one meter and a half from each other is our responsibility to others and to ourselves. And concern for personal boundaries, since we have chosen these very people to live in the same apartment and in the same bed, is a manifestation of our love and care. Because we are safe at home, and our quarantine is simply obliged to do this miracle with us: to put our successes and achievements a notch lower than taking care of the most important people in this world. Or are they not the most important?
Self-determination and redefinition
Compare yourself with everyone. Unknowingly, but we do this by constantly looking at social media feeds and live broadcasts. Somewhere – to raise self-esteem, somewhere to scold ourselves for something that we are still … not or necessary … Have you still not tired of this quarantine exhibitionism from all sides from phone to TV? Why are you watching this, what is the true goal or problem behind this?
One of the important criteria for personal growth and success is self-determination. And it’s not about brand people. And about us, ordinary. Reading about a personal brand, for some reason I imagine advertising well-known sodas or sneakers. Suddenly, a new year’s sensation appears and red trucks pass by before our eyes. And here is suddenly summer, music, a blue jar with a red and white circle and favorite musicians on the stage of the festival, bathed in the sun. Presented? Now look at yourself in the mirror. You are not an objective world. You are the subject. The subject of his own life. And you will not be the same for decades. You will change! Even if not personally and professionally, then you just physiologically age.
But even personally and professionally: every book or article read, every movie or series watched, every training video changes us. But what’s there, almost any meaningful conversation, a new love, a new impression, and even more so – a new idea and a new solution for everyone changes. What brand are you then? You are a man and your successes and achievements are dynamic. But the only thing that remains intact is your personality. Your values and principles. In other words, your self-determination.
How to get rid of resentment, cope, forgive and let go
Not convincing enough ?! Then you need to do a very simple thing – to answer simple questions that are described in his scientific articles by Professor, Doctor of Psychological Sciences J. Schwalb:
Do you live your life? If not, which one is it, yours?
Is that the world around you in which you want to live your own life? If not, what is it like, the world in which you want to live your life?
And finally, people – do you live your life in your world with your people? If they are not their own, then what are they, their own?
In that case, when answering questions, you have difficulties, unpleasant experiences appear or you just want to send the author of this text to hell – do not deny yourself the pleasure, turn to a specialist and he will certainly help you with your self-determination.
Living our lives in this world with our people is, in our opinion, the main criterion for a self-determined person. And then there is no need to obtain unnecessary knowledge, to infinitely improve your appearance, in some disappointments by some people, and a career will take off. Maybe right now, when career issues also hung in the air, is it time to honestly analyze your life and give answers to all these questions?